Undivided Devotion
February 9, 2025
Preached by Noah Gwinn
Scripture Reading
1 Corinthians 7:25-40
25 Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. 26 I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. 29 This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, 30 and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, 31 and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.
32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
36 If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. 37 But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. 38 So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.
39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God.
Well, believe it or not, this is the third year in a row that I have been assigned to preach on Super Bowl Sunday. And I’m not exactly sure what’s up with that. But, incidentally, 364 days ago, I stood right here and preached a text that said that it is better for us that Jesus has gone away so that the Holy Spirit would come. And I said to you then that Scripture is full of some heavy hitter truths that are hard to believe, and that the claim that it’s actually to our advantage that Jesus left is one of the hardest things in all of the Bible for us to believe. Well, here I am again, on yet another Super Bowl Sunday, preaching a text that tells us that it is preferable to not be married and that singles may actually be happier than if they were married. The Bible is full of things that are hard to believe, and yet it’s all true.
If we’re going to take God at his word here, we’re going to need his help. So let’s pray before we get started.
Heavenly Father…
INTRODUCTION
When I was a kid, one of my favorite hobbies was to collect baseball cards and football cards. Every time I would go to Target or Walmart, I would make a beeline for the section of the store with the trading cards and find a pack of the latest Topps cards and fork over the few dollars I had to my name for a chance of striking gold. And although collecting trading cards isn’t as big of a deal nowadays as it once was, there are still old cards that are worth a ton of money. And I remember, at one point, when I was deep into the habit, my grandfather showed me his collection of old baseball cards from the 50s, and man was I enthralled. My heart was beating so fast for the possibility that maybe, just maybe, he would have a rare find that he had forgotten about. And at one point we stumbled upon an early Willie Mays card. In good condition, these cards can go for hundreds, if not thousands of dollars. And as I’m carefully holding this incredibly valuable card in my hands, I turn it over, only to find that on the back, my grandfather as a kid had jotted down Willie Mays’ stats in pen, making the card essentially worthless. My heart sank. As a child, my grandfather did not value the baseball card the way he should have, and that changed everything.
I share this story to illustrate the fact that so often, our value system and God’s value system are a Venn Diagram with little overlap. So often we simply do not value the things that God values, and that changes everything. Specifically, we will see in our passage this morning that we don’t value singleness the way God does.
And, right up front here, I just want to acknowledge that for some of you here this morning, the topic of singleness is deeply personal to you. This could be for a number of reasons. For some of you, you may be single and deeply long for the intimacy that marriage seems to promise. For others of you, you may legally be married, but your spouse is so relationally or physically distant from you that the term “single” may feel like more of an accurate description of your relationship status than what your tax information or Facebook account may indicate. Still others of you are single and happily so, but still feel the pit in your stomach when you get invited to an event and don’t know who you’re going to sit with or talk to. Or maybe you’re even happily single but have felt so left behind by a church culture that seems to prioritize families that to come to a worship gathering on Sunday morning requires more determination than you might like to admit. Still others of you are just exhausted with putting yourself out there time and time again to meet someone, only to find that you continue to get older and the prospects of finding a spouse continue to feel slimmer. Others of you may know well the companionship of marriage because you were happily married for decades but woke up this morning in an empty bed that still has the impression of where your spouse once laid.
If this topic is deeply personal for you, I don’t know exactly where you fall in that list. Probably more than one of those resonated with you. But if you feel this to be deeply personal, know this – the Lord sees you, the Lord knows you, and the Lord deeply cares for you in the midst of all of it.
God wants all of us to share his vision for singleness, whether you are currently single or not. Although it may not seem like it at first glance, this actually really applies to all of us, because we are all single once, and most of us will be single at least twice,[1] and the Kingdom of God is made up of singles and marrieds together. So God’s vision for and value of singleness is incredibly important. In this passage, the apostle Paul shows us that we don’t value God’s vision for singleness for two reasons. First, we don’t value God’s vision for singleness because we undervalue the return of Christ, and second, we don’t value God’s vision for singleness because we overvalue marriage.
WE DON’T VALUE GOD’S VISION FOR SINGLENESS BECAUSE WE UNDERVALUE THE RETURN OF CHRIST
So, first, let’s look at how this text shows us that we don’t value God’s vision for singleness because we undervalue the return of Christ. And I know some of you right now might be thinking, “what in the world? How does that make sense? How do singleness and the return of Christ connect?” Stick with me. I think you’ll see.
Before we really get into the meat of this, let’s see how Paul begins this passage again. Look at verses 25-28.
25 Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy.
Pause here for just a second. This phrase here “Now concerning the betrothed” is going to be incredibly important for our understanding of the passage as a whole. This phrase is literally translated, “now concerning the virgins” and is really getting at the idea of the unmarried. Particularly it has in view women who are betrothed to be married. Now, this betrothal process is similar in some ways to our modern practice of engagement but differs in a few really important ways. One major difference is in the level of commitment that a betrothal was. What I mean is that in this time, to be betrothed to someone was a legal commitment to marry them. This was so binding an agreement that although they were not technically married in the sense we might think of marriage, and although they had not yet consummated the marriage, it would still require a writ of divorce to dissolve the relationship. If you’re familiar with the Christmas story you might remember the way that Mary and Joseph were betrothed to be married, and yet when Joseph learned that Mary was pregnant, he was going to divorce her quietly. They were not yet married, but he would have still needed to legally divorce her. So, keep this in mind as we press on.
One other note I’ll make here is we see Paul make a comment about not having a command from the Lord, so he’s making his own judgment. Similar to the passage we looked at a few weeks ago, this isn’t just Paul giving his opinion. He’s saying, “hey, Jesus didn’t give direct teaching about this, but Jesus did appoint me to give you teaching about this.” So, what does he say? Let’s keep reading in verses 26-28.
26 I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.
We’re not quite sure what the “present distress” was that Paul referenced here. Clearly they would have understood. But the point remains that the call to contentment that Benjamin preached about last week is in view here again in this passage. Paul is saying, essentially, “look around. Things are really hard now. So think carefully about your decisions. Are you legally committed to marry? Don’t feel like you need to get out of that! Be content with the situation God has put you in. Are you single? Don’t feel like you need to jump into marriage. Contentment with what God has given you now is more important than what might or might not happen in your future.” But Paul is going to use this present distress to springboard into something more large-scale. Something that actually speaks directly to you and I here today.
Let’s keep reading in verses 29-31. This is, I think, the key to the whole passage.
29 This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, 30 and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, 31 and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.
You’ll notice that these verses are sandwiched between two very interesting comments. At the beginning of verse 29, we read, “the appointed time has grown very short.” And similarly at the end of verse 31 we read, “for the present form of this world is passing away.” In just three short verses, Paul uses these two different phrases to talk about the same event: the return of Christ. And in the middle of this “return of Christ sandwich” we see the effect that the return of Christ should have on the decisions we make and the way we live our lives.
And it’s fair to say that Paul uses hyperbole to make his point here. Based on the appointed time of the return of Christ growing ever shorter, there are some things at stake that are mission critical. So much so that he’s saying, in a very exaggerated fashion, “look, if you’re married, you have to know that even more important than your momentary marriage is the everlasting Kingdom of God. We’ll talk about this more later, but Paul is by no means diminishing the goodness and importance of marriage. I know it can seem that way when we read things like, “let those who have wives live as though they had none,” but he’s not at all advocating for neglecting your marriage. He’ll actually go on to say quite the opposite. But what he is saying is that if you decide to get married, the imminent return of Christ means that you cannot become so focused on your spouse and your relationship with them that you lose your effectiveness for the Kingdom of God. There are lost people in the world in need of saving. If marriage for you would hinder your ability to join in the mission of God to seek and save the lost, don’t get married. That’s what Paul is saying.
He doesn’t stop there, though. He says something similar about mourning, rejoicing, buying goods, and dealing with the world. He isn’t saying to stop all of these things, but rather that we’ve got to hold all of these things with an open hand. None of these things can have the final grip on our affections. If you’re mourning, Christ is returning and will wipe away every tear from your eye. If you’re rejoicing, the return of Christ will be even more glorious than your present joy. Are you buying goods? Are you dealing with the world? The present form of this world is passing away.
Think about it this way. Scott Elder’s birthday is in just about two weeks. Say, for instance, that just this week I had been tasked with planning a big birthday bash for Scott. I’m talking about like inviting 500 people, renting out a huge event space, hiring caterers, booking a band, the whole deal. I mean Scott deserves a big party for turning 30. So I’m throwing him a big party in two weeks. The appointed time is growing very short. If I have to figure all of these details out in a matter of two weeks, it’s going to change the way I handle my day-to-day tasks, right? I mean, if instead the party was a year out, in between now and then I might go on vacation, I’d probably keep up with going to the gym, maybe read a few books here and there. But if I only have a matter of days, I am going to have no dealings with the beach. I’m going to put my gym membership on hold. I’m going to live as though I have no books. Is it because vacations and the gym and books are bad? No, they’re actually wonderful things. But what is mission critical is focusing on preparing for Scott’s birthday bash.
So it is with us and our responsibilities. Mission critical is the Kingdom of God and ensuring the good news of the Kingdom is spread far and wide. I’ll say it again, if marriage for you would hinder your ability to join in the mission of God to seek and save the lost, don’t get married.
Church, our Lord is coming soon. But I fear that we don’t think about that often. Or if we do, we don’t let the reality of his soon return change the urgency with which we live. But I also fear that our forgetfulness of the soon return of Christ also means that we forget that as real and painful and deep as the wounds that we have from our unmet relational desires are, every single moment of despair is one moment closer to relational bliss in Christ. Please don’t hear me minimizing any pain that you are experiencing right now. I have no idea the depth of the pain you might be in right now. I’m not reminding us of the glory of the return of Christ as a pithy little band aid to put on relational cancer. Friends, the soon return of Christ is the very thing that promises to make everything sad come untrue. Loneliness will be traded for eternal embrace by the very lover of your soul. Isolation will be met by uninterruptible intimacy with the gentle and lowly shepherd of your heart. At the marriage supper of the lamb, this will not be another wedding you attend with a pit in your stomach. Indeed, Paul telling us that the present form of this world is passing away should call to mind the words of Revelation 21. After Christ has returned and brought heaven to earth once and for all, this is what we read:
“And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.’” (Rev. 21:3-4)
WE DON’T VALUE GOD’S VISION FOR SINGLENESS BECAUSE WE OVERVALUE MARRIAGE
So we’ve seen that we don’t value God’s vision for singleness because we undervalue the return of Christ, but we also see in this passage that we don’t value God’s vision for singleness because we overvalue marriage.
Look with me at verses 32-35.
32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
Let me summarize these verses quickly. Essentially, what Paul is saying here is that when you are married, naturally you care deeply for your spouse and the needs of your spouse. So much of your time is given to care, to listen, to love, to share burdens. That’s all Paul means by the phrase “worldly things.” He’s not saying worldly, as in sinful, things. He’s saying worldly things as in non-spiritual, but still good, things. And all of that is wonderful. But the unmarried person, on the other hand, has not covenanted with another person to care for them in this way, and because of that they don’t have the same kind of necessary time constraints as a married person. In Paul’s words, married people have divided interests, while being single allows you to have a kind of “undivided devotion to the Lord.”
Let me share with you my observations about marriage in Christian culture today. It seems to me that most Christians, rightly, value marriage so much. Christians uniquely see marriage as foundational to a well-functioning society. Marriage is valuable because it is into the context of marriage that families are designed to grow and the command that God gave at the beginning for humans to be fruitful and multiply continues to be fulfilled. Marriage is one of the primary ways that God displays the gospel to us in everyday life. Many Christians value marriage because of the way that often together, a couple is more useful for the Kingdom of God than they would be individually.
However, I am also convinced that generations of well-meaning Christians who deeply value marriage have created an intense cultural pressure that everyone must get married. This happens to the point where many singles in the church feel as though something is wrong with them or they are not a fully functioning member of the Kingdom of God because they are not married. The “ring by spring” cultures of Christian colleges and the hobby of matchmaking have inadvertently elevated marriage to a status within Christianity it was never meant to hold. And cutting through 2,000 years of history, Paul’s words to the Corinthians are a gut check to us as well when he says in verse 38 of our passage, “So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.” You see, reading this chapter, including Paul’s earlier line saying, “I wish that all were as I myself am” (aka, I wish that all were single) – between that and all that we’ve been studying this morning, it can seem like Paul is actually devaluing marriage. But that’s not at all what he’s doing. To a culture then and a Christian culture now that idolize marriage, Paul is not diminishing the goodness and importance of marriage, he’s elevating singleness back to its proper place in the Kingdom of God. I have to wonder how many marriages that should not have happened would have been avoided if we had the kind of positive vision for singleness that Paul does. Notice he's not saying that being single is easy. There are plenty of people here that can testify to that. But he is saying that being single is the thing that unleashes some of the greatest servants of God to participate in God’s mission.
Let me put it to you this way. There is a spiritual war going on right now that you and I play a part in, and when you become a Christian, you receive your battle orders. For some of us, those battle orders can only be carried out married. For others, those battle orders can only be carried out single. For so many of us, our urgency is not in evaluating our marching orders and carrying out what is necessary for our part in the Kingdom of God obliterating the Kingdom of darkness. No, for so many of us, our urgency is simply to get to our wedding day – to get married, not to participate in God’s mission. We’re acting like its peace time, forgetting that there are bullets whizzing over our heads.
Final couple of verses. Look at verses 39-40.
39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God.
Church, marriage is important, but it’s temporary. One Christian author says it this way, “we shouldn’t think about singleness as a temporary state before marriage. Rather, marriage is the temporary state before eternity.”[2] We have to put these things in perspective. When we step into eternity, there will only be one marriage, and that is the marriage between Christ and his bride. All other marriages are momentary. We ought not turn a momentary gift into an idol that eats us alive.
Friends, whether you are married or single, it is possible to idolize your situation or be envious of others or both. Marriage is not the goal. Singleness is not the goal. The goal is, wherever you are, to find your identity, to find your desire for intimacy, to find your usefulness in the Kingdom of God, to find your rest, to find your security, all in Christ. To look to a spouse, whether one you have or one you wish you had, for any of this, is too much for any one person to bear. To those of you who are single, here is my challenge for you. Do not waste this time. You are uniquely positioned to be a force of undivided devotion to God for his Kingdom. Look to Christ to fulfill the deep, true, needs you have and real desires for intimacy. To those of you who are married, do not expect your spouse to fulfill needs in you that only Christ can. But do partner together with your spouse to do for the Kingdom of God what you alone could not. These are now whole family battle orders. It’s not too late to join the fight. And to all of us, single or married, God wants us to lift our eyes from jealousy or complacency and unleash us on mission for his Kingdom. We must make this church a place where singles belong and see themselves valued as full participants in the mission of God in this place. We must be a place where singles and marrieds can lock arms to see the weak, wounded, and wayward enjoy the living Jesus. We must not let this difference of being single or married be something that divides or fractures this flock. We must come together as those who share a common identity as the bride of one husband, Christ.
CONCLUSION
And if there’s anyone that understands the realities of being single, it is Jesus Christ. For the entire life of our savior, Jesus remained single, relying on his Father to fulfill his needs of relational intimacy, and engaging in deep relationship with his community. Nowhere was this reality of experiencing singleness more true than when he went to the cross. Naked and alone, Jesus watched as the ones he counted as his closest friends all abandoned him in his moment of greatest suffering. Jesus entered into the realities of humanity so much that he drank loneliness down to the dregs, crying out on the cross, “my God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” before breathing his last and entering into the solitude of death. And yet this moment of utter forsakenness by those who he counted most dear, and from life itself is the very thing that made it possible for you and I to be drawn close. For you and I to be called not just friend, but bride. And that is a marriage reality that even death cannot shake. For all who trust in Christ, both your earthly singleness and earthly marriage will give way to the eternal embrace from the lover of our souls.
As I close in prayer this morning, we’re going to do something a little different. Rather than pray my own prayer, I’m going to use a prayer from the book Every Moment Holy. This is a wonderful collection of thoughtful prayers for a number of different situations you might find yourself in, and they actually feature a prayer entitled, “A Liturgy for a Single Person Going to Church.” So, if you are single here this morning, let this prayer be prayed over you in a unique way. And if you’re not single here this morning, join me in praying this over our single brothers and sisters here this morning. This prayer is a little long, but it is deeply meaningful, so please join me as we pray together.
Let’s pray…
O Christ,
You spent your years here on earth unmarried, without children or a home, yet welcoming each one who called your name.
So welcome me this day as I enter your house; may I be at home in you.
Some days, though surrounded by a gathering, I sit alone in church and feel unseen. You sit beside me there. Let me rest in you. Other days I feel welcomed and known. Let me receive each smile and touch, each person who recalls my name, who prays for me, who holds my story with kindness and grace, as a reminder of your love.
When I see couples’ arms around each other and children in their parents’ arms, sometimes I feel I don’t belong. I want to retreat into myself. But I am part of your body, so, in the mysterious bonds of your Spirit, I am joined with all who are knit into you. If I am tempted to envy what another has, remind me that each carries their own longings, even those who seem to sit down to an endless feast of loved ones near and dreams fulfilled.
When I celebrate, let my joy overflow in praise. When I am overcome by sadness or anxiety, bring your people close and comfort me.
Let me be alive to all of it. Let me give thanks for your love displayed through couples and families and offer any emptiness to you. When your people carry sorrow and loss, let me join to lift the burden of their grief, not measuring it against my own but bringing all to you.
For you know what it is to be alone, O Lord. Raised on the cross you watched your people turn their faces from your suffering. You wore our loneliness; you felt forsaken.... You made your life and offering to draw us close, to make of us one family. In return I can but offer my life. My hope is in you.
You have invited each of us to eat at your table, Lord. You have prepared a place for me with great care. My name is written there.
May I dwell deeply in the lives of this community as we work and pray, as we share bread and wine, as we tell stories of our struggles and your grace.
As you welcome us into the generous fellowship of your Trinity, may I welcome others into my days, not only on this day but throughout the week.
Give me eyes to see how best to serve this community in this season and this place, as you made me to be. Multiply the small things that I have as I entrust my gifts to you. Let me not be defined by what I lack.
I am not a dry tree. I am planted by your river. Ripen the Spirit’s fruit as I root myself in you. May I bring shade to your weary ones and display your goodness even when the world’s winds do their best to topple me. Your Spirit moves gently through the leaves. You who know me best, search me.
My longings lie open before you. You know the hidden joys and burdens of this week; you tend the patterns of my days even when no others witness them. You bring my name before the Father. You are always mindful of me.
As I worship, let my voice harmonize with all who have gone before and all who will come after me. For your Kingdom is a song of many voices woven throughout time. As I join your people this day, remind me I am forever part of your family, called into communion with you and all the saints in this life and the life to come.
In my short time on Earth, shape me by the rhythms of your story and of hope until I step over the last threshold into your embrace.
In you I am complete. Let my life bear witness that you are enough, always enough, more than enough.
Amen.[3]
[1] This comment inspired by a similar comment made by Jeremy Treat in his sermon, “On Singleness” at Reality LA.
[2] This is a quote from Christopher Yuan
[3] “A Liturgy for a Single Person Going to Church,” from Every Moment Holy, vol. III: The Work of the People, 186-191.
Sermon Discussion Questions
What is one area where you have seen that you naturally value things differently than God does? How have you worked to align your values with his?
How should the return of Christ shape our approach to thinking about marriage and singleness?
Noah said that Christian culture may unintentionally overvalue marriage, sometimes to the detriment of singles. Have you seen this at play? What steps can the church take to better honor and support singles?
Paul speaks about singleness allowing for “undivided devotion to the Lord.” In what ways can singleness be a gift in serving God’s Kingdom? How can both singles and married individuals encourage each other in their respective callings?
The sermon emphasized that contentment is key, whether married or single. How can we cultivate contentment in our current relationship status? What are some practical ways to trust God’s plan for our lives, even when our desires remain unfulfilled?
